This is to all the teenager and three-nagers that I know and love. And to the moms, especially mine. 
If you don't listen to me it's cool really and if you don't even want to read this I understand because fair warning: I'm about to tell you to be nice to your mom.

Yep there it is, just go easier on her. I know I don't know you that well I only see things from the outside and hear things second hand, but I know what it's like because I'm right in the middle. It was not long ago that I was the teenager and even though my boys are young here I am a mom and I just want to say that I understand. 

I understand that your mom is difficult. She is nagging you all the time. She expects you to do what she wants and everything has to be her way. She doesn't understand you, she doesn't know what it's like to be you, to go to school, and think about your future in this world. She doesn't know how much pressure you feel all the time from school and sports and friends and the media and from herself, and mostly from yourself, to be the best, the smartest, the coolest, the most mature, to have it all figured out and not to make mistakes. It's really hard. And speaking of mistakes she is a total hypocrite. She is always mad at you for doing things that she used to do or even still does, she makes a mistake or a bad choice and expects you to just let it slide, or even worse she wants you to fix it for her, she invited company over and didn't have time to clean and make dinner and do the laundry so now she wants you to do it. Clearly you have other things to do too, and company wasn't your idea. She's always expecting you to do the things she likes to do and thinks you have to feel the same and think the same as her about important issues. It's like she gets mad at you for having your own brain and your own opinions. And when your feeling upset and you just want someone on your side to understand you and make you feel better she's questioning you and telling you all the ways it was your fault in the first place. She's not really there for you. It's true. It's all true and it's hard, I understand, I remember. 

But here's the thing about your mom. She loved you from the day she met you and she has seen every version of you there is on every day you've been alive. She knows things about you that you don't even know about yourself and no one will ever love you the way she does. It's pathetic I know but it's true. But you know what? It is so hard to be your mom. Because she doesn't know you. (I know confusing right?) She knows you so well but she doesn't know you at all, and she doesn't understand you and that kills her, so she tries her hardest to make you into the person she dreams you will be. She tries to imprint a little bit of herself on you. But at the same time she doesn't want you to be the person she was and is because she is so full of flaws. She is never good enough, she makes so many mistakes everyday. She tries to do too much, she loses her patience, she loses her temper, she falls behind and needs her child to pick up her mess so the family can stay afloat. She is embarrassed and ashamed that she can't do it all and she takes that out on you, and she feels so guilty. She did so many things the hard way when she was your age and she remembers it all, painfully and she wants so much to protect you from making those same mistakes, from making your own mistakes, but the worst thing is that she knows that she can't. She tries to understand you and get to know you better but she's trying too hard and prying and by trying to get closer to you she builds a thicker wall between you. She's losing you a little more everyday and she doesn't know how to stop it. She wants what is best for you and she tries desperately to keep you safe, from physical harm, emotional distress, public embarrassment, your own self loathing that she's all too familiar with herself. And yet she can't and it hurts her to see you hurt so she tries harder. She feels so torn because she wants to be your biggest cheerleader and do everything she can to make life easier for you but she knows that's not her job, her job is to teach you to be responsible, and self sufficient. 

She can't do it all. She gives and gives and gives herself away and she doesn't think about herself. She's struggling every day to keep it all together and be worthy of being your mom and sometimes she gets lost in that struggle. She forgets that she is a person too, separate from you. She forgets to take care of herself, respect herself, forgive herself. And if she's not doing those things how will she teach you to do them? She used to want so much from her life. She had so many hopes and dreams and plans but now she just wants you to be happy and healthy and successful. And she desperately wants you to understand. To understand that she does understand you, she does know you, she is on your side, sometimes it just doesn't look like that in the moment and sometimes she just forgets. But she loves you she always has and she always will. And if you take it a little easier on her. If you take care of her sometimes, if you respect her, if you forgive her for being a real separate person from you. This will all be easier on both of you. I promise. It's okay that she isn't perfect and she doesn't always get it right because she's trying. 

I love you mom. Thanks for never giving up and loving me even when I made it hard for you. I'm so happy we understand each other now. 

so hi! It's been a while wow where does the time go. I got busy with life, having two kids turns out to be hard work and yet I'm thinking about more? Crazy! And it was a long winter like didn't leave the house cold. And I kind of ran out of money to keep trying all the wraps. But to be honest I cheated on wraps. I fell in love with cloth diapers. I felt pretty stash infield after I got my custom from cloth of kin and I found cloth diapers and immersed myself in that and I was worn out by this thing we call motherhood and I just stopped writing. It's been awful though and I miss it and I have the itch to write some reviews and some of my lovely friends have some new playthings so I think I'll come back if you'll take me back. But I might write about my diapers some and life more if that's okay with you. Actually I don't need your permission at all. It's my blog 😂 

I felt like writing tonight so there will be a new post up soon. Happy reading 😊

Have you ever wanted to know more about the people behind the scenes? I know I have and since I've recently been expanding my own interests into the world of handwovens and weaving, I've been especially curious about weavers and how they came to be where they are. Thanks to a good friend and her beautiful custom I came to know of Kathy from RockLake Weaving, and she has been so kind in answering a few questions I put together for her as an interview of sorts. She does beautiful weaving and I hope if you haven't been familiar with her before this you will check her stuff out. And now I will let Kathy introduce herself to you. 

K: About me? I am 37, and have been doing fiber crafts since my Grandma taught me how to make pompoms when I was about 5. I have four children under the age of 9, and we run a fishing camp in Northern Ontario. In my spare time, I fish as much as I can, and I also am a runner and a hockey player. I love to be active, but there is also great appeal to sitting down with some fiber in my hands, and slowly creating something from yarn. 
I learned to knit when I was about 8, and have been knitting on and off since then, but mostly on since I was about 25. I write knitting patterns, and occasionally teach knitting classes or do private lessons. I also knit for others on commission, as my neighbours would probably give me the side-eye if I knit a house cosy, and I knit a LOT. 

M: How did you get interested in weaving? What was your first project? 

K: My journey to weaving was fairly typical, I think. I moved to a new town,and got involved in the yarn shop there, eventually teaching weekly classes, and working on samples and custom orders for the owner. I met a woman who was teaching a drop spindle class, took it, and learned to spin my own yarn. That lead to the purchase of a spinning wheel, and joining the local, very prolific, Weavers and Spinners guild. At meetings, I was exposed to the amazing things that the weavers brought to "show and tell", and signed up for a beginners weaving class in short order. That was about 6 years ago now, and I have never looked back. I think my first project was a piece of cloth meant to become a small bag for my knitting notions (we won't discuss the fact that it is still just a piece of fabric!), and then during that first class, I put a second warp on the loom that I was using, and wove two complimentary scarves as gifts for my grandparents. The instructor of that class noted in a report to the guild that she had never has anyone finish their first project within the class duration (a three day weekend), never mind put on and finish a second project! 
I used rented guild equipment for the next few projects, mostly smaller pieces of fabric, and scarves, for a few months, then bought a small table loom of my own. Very shortly after that, I found a handmade loom for sale for a good price, and bought it, not realizing that it needed "a little" work. I spent about two months cleaning all the rust of the heddles and the other metal parts, I made a new handle from oak and attached the original pawl to it, then I sanded and refinished the entire loom. Once all of that was done, I put it together and started weaving larger pieces on my own.  

M: How did you decide to start weaving baby wraps? 

K: Weaving baby wraps was not really a decision. I was contacted by a friendwho asked if I would weave one for her. I really did not know much about baby wraps (and I am still learning), but she was great, and was able to tell me all the things I needed to know as a weaver. I am a weaver, pure and simple, and for me, baby wraps are fabric. I love playing with yarn and colours, so anything that allows me to do that makes me happy.

M: What is your biggest source of inspiration? 

K: I often use photos for inspiration, for all of the fiber arts I make. especially like nature photos, and a glorious bright hued sunset is just as appealing to me as a forest photos with complex greens, greys, browns, and yellows. I truly enjoy taking a pile of colour, and making it something special. I also like to blend the things I have in my stash, and find ways to make "leftovers" appealing. I try to keep my stash to a minimum, so I like to use many colours in random orders for things. I think those make the best functional items, as tea towels, placemats, whatever item you can think of that needs to hide splashes and stains. These warps are very close to my heart, as I love that they look plain from a distance, with the weft colour dictating the overall colour, but when they are viewed close up, they become complex riots of many colours.

M: Do you/ Did you babywear? 

K: When my kids were smaller, I often used a sling to carry them, but I didn't consider myself a "babywearer."  For me, it was a more convenient way to carry one of the kids, and still have hands free to do whatever I needed to do.

M: When someone does get a custom with you, what is the process like? How do you get a spot, how much input do they have, what are the options, how long does it take to get the wrap finished? 

K: My business model is different from many weavers, in that I do not "reserve spots". At any time, I generally have 3-5 custom orders in varying stages, but when I take a deposit, I am ready for work with my client to create something special. The whole process from start to finish can take anywhere from 2-3 weeks, to several months, depending on many factors, but once a deposit is made, work begins immediately. I feel that not having months long wait times just to start a design serves my clients best, and allows me to create things with a clear conscience. 
        When I do a custom weaving order, the process is always roughly the same, no matter what item I am weaving. My client always has control, although I do reserved the right to limit options based on the equipment I have, and the fibers available. For custom fabrics, clients generally have a basic idea of what they want. The decisions that need to be made are many, but I do my best to walk clients through the process, with as much information as I can give them, without overwhelming them.
        The first step is a deposit, for custom orders this is currently $150, with $50 of that amount being non-refundable. Then we make choices about the fiber(s) that will be used. This is important, because it can have a significant effect on how much yarn is needed overall, and even more importantly, which colours are available. Once the fiber is decided, we work on a colour palette, and I send a file containing one or more palettes for the client to choose from, based on their ideas for colours. Sometimes I add in additional colours that I think will add to the design, but the client always gets the final say. Once a colour palette has been chosen, the look of the piece is discussed. Gradations, stripes, pinstripes, random colour mixing, all things are possible here! When the client has decided what they think they want, I do a mockup on the computer of the warp, with colours as close as possible to those that will be used. This process sometimes is very quick, with just one or two mockups, and sometimes it take significantly longer, with many changes, both major and minor being made along the way. Each mockup takes me anywhere from 15 minutes (a few minor changes) to an hour (a whole new design) to do, and I need client comments to perfect the design, so this can be a long process. 
        Once the warp design is complete, the weft is chosen. This is usually fairly quickly done, although there are many choices for fiber and colour. I am slowly building a "library" of colour combinations that I can send to clients to help them see how colours look together when woven. I also can put the colours into weaving softwear, which helps, although it is limited in the colours available. At this point, I ask the client for final approval of the design. The fibers and colours are chosen for both warp and weft, the design is complete, and no further changes in the design may be made.
        Weaving time, like many of the steps in a custom fabric, is variable. For basic fabrics, I mostly am able to weave a 12 m length within a week, however life, family obligations, and other factors sometimes alter the timing. I always stay in touch with my clients, and keep them informed of what stage their order is in, expected timing, and of course, any delays.
        I try to have between one and three orders in design, and as final approvals are given, that is the order of weaving. This allows me to be productive, and not have empty looms, but it also minimizes wait times for warps to go on the loom. I aim to have a warp measured and ready to go on the loom as soon as the current warp comes off the loom. 
I also allow returns on custom items, within a limited time of mailing the item out, which is unusual for custom items. 

I hope you enjoyed getting to know Kathy a little more, I know I sure did. The work she does is beautiful and I am keeping my eye out for a custom slot with her, I already have a plan for my custom ;) Hint: it would be called "Little Blue"

I was going to write a post over the weekend about how I've been planning a custom with my group of amazing friends, and I will get to that soon I promise, but on Friday DH came home and said "want to take a day trip somewhere?" I said "cool let's go to the beach." He said "I'm thinking bigger lets go north, we'll pack for camping." So the plan was to head north as far as the kids would let us get (they both dislike car rides) with the possible goal of crossing the border and heading into Montreal. So I packed the clothes, diapers and carriers and got the boys ready to go while DH packed the camping gear, the food, and the dog. At the last minute I remembered to get the boys birth certificates and everyone's SS card just in case. We did not pack a stroller. We left within an hour I think. We drove until everyone got cranky and stopped for lunch and then back in the car for nap which got us almost to the border when I said "you know what I just thought of, I don't know if we can just take the dog across the border like this." So we looked it up and as it turns out you need paperwork from your vet, and while you might get into canada without it theres no promises you can take your dog back home without it. FAIL! so, we turned around and headed back to Plattsburgh where we decided to stay in the state park. 
The State park was really nice, we set up our tent and went down to the beach and the playground. I wrapped SG in our trusty old barabarn. If you've ever been on the shores of Lake Champlain you understand when I say how breathtakingly beautiful it is, and if you haven't been you should. 
I've always been a sucker for the view of Lake George, but Champlain tops that. Anyway we hit the beach and it was beautiful and the water was warm, we played around for an hour or so and I switched SG to a rebozo so I could keep an eye on him better in the sun. Then LD decided he wanted to go on the playground but it was just too hot for that so we went to find dinner instead and explore Plattsburgh a little. Then back to the campsite for playground time, a campfire, and bed. Luckily the kids went to sleep easily and slept well. Mommy however did not. The next morning we were all up early as is to be expected when tenting and we packed up the tent and went to the playground before hitting the road again. 
We left the campground and turned left, but we were actually supposed to turn right so we turned back around and headed for the ferry to Vermont. LD LOVED the ferry and once we were on Vermont soil we set out for Burlington. It was still early when we got there and we had to wake LD up from his first nap of the day so I put him up on my back in an almost flawless double hammock thanks to kokoskaa royal quill Iris, and SG went with Daddy in the Ergo. Burlington was awesome. We didn't really plan for the trip since it was last minute but next time (probably in a couple weeks) we will hopefully plan better and bring some spending money becuase they have a seriously hopping farmers market. We walked around it like 4 times until we were sure we saw every booth and tried all the free samples. The we walked up Church St. and admired all the neat shops and resturants. It was HOT though and by the time we got to the church yard at the top of Church St. LD was ready to get down and I was ready to put him down. So we found shade and let the boys loose. When we took off again after a lunch of Papa Johns sweet chili chicken pizza, (really good a little spicier than I expected) I took SG in the wrap and it was Daddy's turn to carry LD in the ergo. We walked down to the waterfront to admire the lake once again from another angle and then we wrapped up our adventure with Ice cream. It was super hot by then and while I honestly did not feel much hotter with the wrap on I'm not gonna lie I was just ready to get the boys off me, into the carseats and enjoy some AC. I had a great time, I can't wait to go back to Burlington, Kokoskaa Iris was a rockstar, and I never once missed having a stroller. 

Have you ever picked something up in a store and just known it was expensive at first touch? You can feel the difference in quality without even trying it on. That was my first thought when I opened the package in the mail, I stuck my hand in and I felt something unlike anything else. Kokoskaa Royal Quill Midnight was a wrap like none-other. Of course I knew what was coming and I knew it was a cotton, silk, wool, and cashmere but to actually touch it was something else entirely. I've felt wool wraps before but midnight blew me away. I know I'm repeating myself here but it's just sooo different. It was a blanket it was thick and fuzzy and lush but it was so light and airy at the same time. I've worn silk wraps and I've worn wool wraps but neither could compare to the magic of it being all woven together. I was borrowing this wrap for a family wedding and its been gone for 2 weeks now, but I can still feel the  texture and the weight in my mind it left such a huge impression. And the color and style oh man, Im gushing and I'm not even embarrassed to admit it. Midnight is so classy the navy is dark but vibrant and the ecru sets it off brilliantly, the high contrast really lets you see the intricate patterns in the royal quill design, and both sides are equally beautiful. I can't even handle it I loved this wrap so much! I miss it, a lot. Okay pulling myself together now, technically this wrap is fabulous too. Despite being a little grippy due to the fuzziness and texture its nothing an experienced wrapper can't handle, and the stretch and squishiness more than make up for it. I had the pleasure to wear both SG and LD in midnight and so i can also say it is definitely suited to a wide range of babies super snugly which at this point almost goes without saying but also seriously supportive. and wide! one of the widest wraps ive ever had which together with the strength made it the best ruck wrap I've had yet for LD. I wish such quality as this wasn't so hard to come by, but the few that have this wrap aren't readily letting go. I'm just so happy I got the chance to borrow it thanks to an amazing person. I can't wait to see more amazing things from Kokoskaa in the near future, maybe ill be lucky enough to get my hands on something else from Monika soon. 

"I found love in a hopeless place."  I had a traveler come through, I fell in love. I knew he would be leaving me, I knew he was only mine for a short time, I should have tried harder to keep my distance, I should have built the wall around my heart higher. But I didn't. I let him in. We spent days upon days together, we formed a bond, I chose him over others, we made memories together. And now, now he is gone. Some might say he was just the latest in a string of affairs and in some ways they would be right, but I know, that I will never fully move on from the love I found with Firesprial Silver Linen Seafoam. 
Seafoam was a traveler that got to me right before we went out of town. I was a tiny bit apprehensive as it was a size 7 and that is a lot of wrap for me, but it was awesome! Medium thin and so soft that it really didn't feel overwhelming at all, and the design is so classy that it looked fabulous with long tails. I think the look of this wrap really was my favorite thing, the color of blue is just stunning, probably best described by me as indigo, its not quite navy, it leans a little purple and compliments the silver perfectly The design of sea spray is just so-so for me when laid out, but when it is wrapped up it is a bit abstract and whimsical and I just love it. I think it looks classy in every situation, and can be dressed up or down, and I also think it looks good on everyone. The only teensy bit negative thing I can think of in the design is that the "wrong" side isn't interchangably as pretty as the right side. My second favorite thing about this wrap is how it felt. The linen is amazing, it makes even a long 7 feel weightless, and its airy and breathable, I never once sweat(ed?) in this wrap. And I was also pleasantly surprised that it was still soft and comfortable on my shoulders, not at all diggy. Third was how durable this wrap is. As I mentioned breifly, I used this wrap above many others and I used it every day sometimes more than once a day and I used it with SG and LD and it was in and out of the carm and suitcase and it was great, it never snagged, it didn't pick up dirt or attract stay hairs and it didn't wrinkle much at all. I pretty much never had to worry about it. That all being said, it practically goes without saying that the wrapping quality was great as well. Easy to wrap with, easy to tighten, soft, cushy, small tight knots, supportive, strong.
This wrap really had it all, and I was very sad the day I sent it on, but I'm happy that it will be continuing to spread the love. Thank You FiSpi for creating this wrap and Thank you Mama K for letting me fall in love even if it was just for a little while. 

Wow, I don't even know where to start, I feel so out of practice after 2 weeks away. I thought about bringing my laptop with me but the car was already crammed full and our schedule was going to be so hectic I knew I wouldn't have time to write anyway and I didn't want to risk leaving it behind on one of our many legs of the journey so I took a hiatus. About day 5 or 6 I really had the urge to write but by the time I got home I just felt overwhelmed at the thought, I just have so much to say. I took 6 wraps with me, and my ringsling. 2 were wraps that I own, 4 were traveling through. Im happy to be able to report wearing everything. We did not take a stroller with us (there wasn't room with all those wraps in the car) and I did not miss it once. So the first stop was my MIL's house in advance of the wedding, and when we needed to do some last minute dress shopping for me, I had the privilage of wrapping SG on my SIL. No kidding it is really hard to wrap a baby on someone else, it's even harder when the baby is screaming, and it's really hard when that person is a foot taller than you. But although it was a little sloppy we got him up there and within about 10 steps he was quiet and shortly thereafter asleep for the entire trip. She used the Fispi seafoam. Next came the actual wedding festivities and a move to a hotel for the next 3 days. On the way there I got to have a quick visit with a good friend that I miss a ton. At the wedding I wore SG the whole time as LD and DH and everyone else was involved in the wedding, and actually SG and I did a reading too. We sported Kokoskaa midnight for the actual ceremony but Fispi for everything else. It was a great wedding one of the top 3 (Ours, and SIL's rounding out the category) and I hear from DH that the reception was like a club, but unfortunately for me two little ones wanted to go back to the hotel and go to bed. Around the hotel and when we went out for breakfast that morning, I wore the Poes. They became my "workhorse" wraps because they are all cotton and I knew if anything did happen they would wash right up. Anyway after we left the hotel on Sunday it was a whirlwind to DH's Grandpa's 90th birthday party, a dinner with old friends, another visit with a good friend, SIL and her husband's 30th birthday party straight into the long drive to my hometown to see my parents and grandparents. Once we got there we actually got to rest and relax for a couple days. My grandparents got to meet SG for the first time and LD got to play on the "farm"  After that it was a work conference for DH and back to hotel life for another 3 days and we wore the Fispi every day with some Poe thrown in here and there. It really was crazy, but the boys did an AMAZING job, we got to see so many people we love and miss, and I got to wrap so much more than I do at home. In the end I truly enjoyed all of the wraps but there was one that really stole my heart. It moved on today but I asked the owner mama for dibs. I'd have to sell my entire stash if it ever goes up for sale and the size really is a little much for me, but I sure love that Firespiral Seafoam. 

Top to bottom L to R as much as possible here is what we have in Pile today:
Poe Woven Harlequin Platine, Custom Dyed Didymos Indio, Poe Harlequin Neige, Didymos Lisca Karabik, Pavo Veronica Etini, Pavo Chocotini, Bebe Sachi Twilight, Didymos Goldfish, Pavo Holly Etini, Tekhni Portico Twilight, Kokoskaa Royal Quill Iris, Kokoskaa Royal Quill Midnight, Pavo Lilac Fable, Handwoven, Didymos Jade Indio. 

Harlequins felt thin and a bit rough in hand but surprised me with their stretch and cush.